Note to Self: Don't Let Your Age Stop You From Fulfilling Your Dreams

Transparent moment: Now that I'm S-L-O-W-L-Y approaching the back end of my 50s, I have several regrets about things I did or didn't do years ago.

I don't want this post to be construed as a pity party though. The reason I am sharing my regrets with you is because of the wonderful words of encouragement that leaped off the pages of the Bible this morning.  I chose to read from the first chapter of Luke today.Without trying to teach a Bible lesson, I'll just recap by saying the first chapter of Luke talks about the conception and birth of John the Baptist. What I found significant was the fact that, like Abraham and Sarah, John's parents were past what would be considered the prime age to conceive, bare and raise a child. Nevertheless God saw fit to "make it happen." He sent Zechariah a message via the angel Gabriel but because of his advanced years, the elderly man scoffed at the notion and dismissed it as being too late. Nevertheless Gabriel attempted to reassure the future patriarch. "But the angel said to him: “Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you are to call him John.  He will be a joy and delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth." Luke 1:13-14 

Zechariah had such a hard time believing God for this miracle that the Lord caused him to become a mute and wouldn't allow him to speak until the child was born. This reminded me that it unbelief is a punishable sin. But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. Hebrews 11:6 

Like Zechariah, there are things I've longed to do, to be and to possess but for various reasons it just hasn't happened. Unfortunately a lot of it is because I didn't really try - and the older I get the less like it seemed that I will ever see fulfillment of many of secret aspirations. I'll admit that I know better. My grandmother was a great example of a person who didn't allow her age to define her. She might not have been formally educated, wealthy or famous but she left a great legacy. Those who remember her often speak of her kindness and generosity but also the fact that she loved to dance. Nana used to say to me that if you sit around you'll rust out. Even though she was a marvelous cook, she continued to take cake decorating classes, and liked to experiment with new recipes. When the Food Network came about, she stayed glued the to Emeril Lagasse and Paula Dean shows - even after she passed the mantel of cooking for the family along to me. The lesson I learned from her (but apparently allowed myself to forget) was to never give up. Her age is now being disputed among family members, but according to the U.S. Census of 1910, she was 96 years old when she left this life. She remained in good health (including playing games and dancing with MY grandchildren) and of sound mind until approximately six months prior to her "sunset."

"Nana"

Now back to the analogy from today's scripture: Being past the flower of her age so to speak, Elizabeth could have simply faced her old age with a sense of failure. But her faith and vibrancy serves as a reminder that God watches over all of His children (even me) with loving care. Elizabeth trusted and God rewarded her. Upon discovering that she was had indeed conceived, Elizabeth kept herself hidden until for five months. However, she played hostess to, and no doubt mentored, her younger cousin Mary. Many historians agree that Mary was approximately 16 years old at the time of the Immaculate Conception. She also had to come to terms with what the rest of us would have considered impossible - to become the mother of the Savior of the world! Yet she carried out her assignment gracefully and full of faith.  Elizabeth understood the magnitude of her young Mentee's holy assignment as she proclaimed,  "Blessed is she who believed, for there will be a fulfillment of those things which were things which were told her from the Lord."

The message that resonates in my mind from reading Luke today is that,

• God has planted a set of desires within me and that I put the limitations on myself not Him. 
• If I am to live a life that pleases God, I have to seek him diligently to find out how he wants to equip and empower me to fulfill my destiny. 
• Elizabeth kept her anticipated blessing "close to the vest" and only shared with a very close circle, in order not to be distracted by naysayers and short-sighted haters I have to do the same, regardless of how ridiculous my goals seem.
• When I complete the assignments God has given me, not only will I have a sense of accomplishment, but others will joyfully benefit as well.

 

Reposted from Engaged Marriage

 10 Easy Romantic Ideas to Spice Up Your Busy Marriage

These days between jobs, kids and the drama of everyday life, romance tends to get lost in the shuffle.
Many couples say “It’s just too much work”, but it doesn’t have to be that way!
Some of the most romantic ideas are short and sweet.
To prove it, here’s a list of 10 romantic things that only take a few minutes to prepare:
1. Mystery Kisses
Stop by the store and pick up 5 pieces of candy with distinctly different flavors. Think of ones like butterscotch, peppermint, root beer barrels, watermelon Jolly Ranchers, lemon drops, and well, you get the idea.
Later on, when you’re alone, have your spouse sit down and close their eyes. Unwrap the first piece of candy and suck on it until the flavor has saturated your mouth. Take it out and give them a big French kiss! Can they guess the flavor? If they guess every one right they win…a kiss!
2. Strawberry and Chocolate Surprise
Buy some strawberries and a few bars of your spouse’s favorite chocolate on the way home from work to surprise them after dinner with chocolate-dipped strawberries!
Melt the chocolate in a double boiler or by boiling water in a large pot and setting a bowl (with chocolate) inside to keep the chocolate from burning. Coat the strawberries and let cool, or just take the bowl of melted chocolate to the couch and feed them to each other freshly-dipped.
3. Origami Love
Express your feelings in a unique way by writing your spouse a love letter on an origami flower. Buy a few sheets of pink or yellow paper from a local copy shop and get started with these easy directions.
It only takes a few minutes of folding to create a love letter that they will never forget.
4. Custom Kisses
Remove the little slips of paper from a half dozen Hershey’s Kisses and replace them with your own slips of paper, each listing one thing you love about your spouse.
5. Their Favorite Ice Cream
Hide a pint of plain Haagen Dazs in the freezer and a few of your spouse’s favorite candy bars elsewhere. After dinner let them have fun creating their dream flavors Cold Stone-style with chopped-up Butterfingers, Snickers, M&M’s, or whatever!
6. Music of Your Lives
Take a musical journey through your lives by listening to the #1 song on your birthdays for every year you’ve been alive. See what your parents were rocking out to when you were in the cradle and laugh about the first songs you remember hearing. This is a great way to share childhood memories and funny stories.
Start by pulling up this page at Wikipedia to find the top songs and then go to grooveshark and listen for free!
7. Steamy Message
Tomorrow morning, while your spouse is in the shower, draw a big heart on the mirror with your initials (i.e. J + B) in the middle, or write a little note like “Beth is cute”. They’ll love it.
8. After Dinner Menu
After finishing up with dinner and the dishes, present your spouse with a menu for the evening’s entertainment. Design the menu to look like a real one and print it out with items for different “courses” like:

• Appetizer: kissing, cuddling, tickling
• Entree: romantic movie of their choice, music by the fire, board games, moonlit walk
• Dessert: massage, candlelit bath, or ???

They can only choose one item from each course – don’t be greedy!
9. Automotive Treasure
Put together a little treasure hunt that takes place entirely within your spouse’s car. Hide 3 or 4 clues, such as “It holds your change and the next clue”, to lead them around the interior of the car and trunk. Start the hunt with a little text message or by leaving the first clue out in the open.
Make the treasure something small such as a few green M&M’s with a “Save for later” note, or bigger like a coupon for a massage.
10. Promise of Things to Come
Drop off or mail a gift to your partner’s work that hints at an exciting evening without providing any details. This could be a ripe strawberry with whipped cream, lingerie, a small vial of massage oil, or even a blindfold.
Include a note that reads “See you tonight” and let them spend the afternoon wondering. They will probably try to call you. Tell them nothing.
What are some fun, simple and romantic ideas that you’d add to this list?

31 Habits of a JoyFULL Wife, Habit Number 31 - Have a Love Affair!

Draw me, we will run after thee: the king hath brought me into his chambers: we will be glad and rejoice in thee, we will remember thy love more than wine: the upright love thee. SOS 1:4

Of the 31 habits I've shared this month, I'm sure some on you have wondered why I'm been virtually silent when it comes to talking about your husband. The reason is that I wanted to drive home the fact that we have to learn how to consistently rely on the joy that only comes from God - and contentment with who we are before we can expect to have the added benefits that come with a lifetime covenant partnership.

It has been my experience from coaching countless wives and wives-in-training, that there is a misinterpretation of where joy and contentment truly originate from - and how they are sustained. Having said all of that, I provided 30 recommendations for taking the responsibility of making you happy out of the hands of your husband; or anyone else for that matter, and leaving it with you.

As I've said to married people many times, your spouse is NOT responsible for making you happy. Once you embrace that principle, you can begin to see yourself and your spouse as God does, love deeply and genuinely, and have the unspeakable joy that is mentioned in the bible.

Still, I can imagine that some of you would like to know how do you keep your love alive? How do you fall in love all over again?

Research on successful marriage suggests five actions you can take to fall in love again – to incur the passion you once knew in your marriage. Here they are in nutshell:

1. Research has revealed time and time again the importance of the “loving touch.” The human touch is paramount to the most basic of all human connections. So, the first thing you must do in re-establishing the passion of your relationship is to touch! Touch often. Touch much. Hold hands when you walk. Take turns wrapping around each other in bed at night. Feel the warmth. Feel the love. If you pass your spouse 100 times a day, touch them 100 times. By doing so, you are acknowledging their presence and you are telling them how much you love them. You cannot express love without the human touch. Get started today!

2. Engage in a process that allows you to re-establish the communication links between the two of you. Start with these three questions:

1. Why did we fall in love?
2. Why did we get married?
3. What are our hopes and dreams for the future?

The communicative links between the two of you are highly important and no love, no marriage, and no relationship will ever be jump-started again without the re-establishment of the communicative ties that bind. Getting serious about communication in your relationship is among your highest priorities. Get started today! Check out our “Seven-Week Program for Developing Ongoing Sharing in Your Marriage” in the appendix of our book, Golden Anniversaries: The Seven Secrets of Successful Marriage.

3. Work hard to have fun with each other! Dine out at your favorite restaurant. Spend a night in a motel. Take a vacation to Disneyland, just the two of you! Cook a romantic dinner at home. Whatever you do, do something that ignites the passion and the fun! Do something that takes your relationship “beyond boring.” Do something together that makes your lives exciting and fun-filled. Marriages can fall into the doldrums but it doesn’t have to be that way. Rediscover what makes you excited, what gives you a sense of adventure, and what makes your adrenalin flow! Successful marriages are not boring! Plan a passion starter today!

4. Upend expectancies! Do not always do that which is predictable. Here’s an example. One of the lovely couples we interviewed a few years ago told this wonderful story. Their life together was getting too predictable and too boring. At 85 years of age, they were both entirely too focused on “settling in.” They would sit in front of the TV, rarely talking, and content with their station in life. Shoot, they were both 85 years old they thought! But as they shared with us, it didn’t have to be that way. When Clarence came home from a golf outing one glorious Sunday afternoon, he was met by his beautiful wife, Grace, at the front door in her “altogether.” Grace thought, “What the heck, if I can’t get him interested in anything but golf and TV, I will just meet him at the door naked. Maybe he will get interested in me!” As it turns out, Clarence got the message. Of course, what happened after this homecoming episode they didn’t share with us! The most important lesson is this – Clarence and Grace decided that upending expectancies was a good thing from time to time! Try it. You be surprised at what can happen!

5. Tell your spouse how much you love them and why! Never, we repeat, never, fall into the trap that says, “I don’t have to tell him/her I love them, he/she knows I do.” Nothing could be further from the truth! People who love people are the luckiest people in the world, of that you can be sure. And to tell the one you love, “I Love You” and to do it often, makes them even luckier! Never take the one you love for granted. Big mistake! To love people is wonderful. To tell them you love them is amongst the greatest gifts you could ever give. Start today.

You see, the rekindling of love is not so complicated. Don’t make it so. Just take these five simple actions and you will re-ignite your love affair with your husband.

31 Habits of a JoyFULL Wife, Habit Number 30 - Detox

It's not rocket science - the healthier your temple is, the more joy you will experience. One thing that is vital to having a healthy body is ridding it of the harmful toxins we eat, breath and are exposed to. Here is my buddy Shelita Williams' article on how to detox. For more information about weight loss and other ways to take control over your circumstances, visit her on the web.

10 Simple Ways to Detox!

Posted In Health and Fitness

Every day we breathe in, eat, and have toxins floating around in our system causing sluggish metabolism, increasing our chances of cancer, diabetes, heart disease and the list goes on. I know you are super busy but I also know you want toReign in Health and Fitness. I put together a few simple things you can do the get rid of the excess toxins and improve your health!

1. Drink fresh Juice; Apple, Beet, Cucumber and Ginger are specific for detoxification. It’s best when you are doing a juice fast but you will still reap benefits if you don’t.
2. Drink distilled water; Your kidneys are organs for detoxification. When you don’t drink distilled water your kidneys have to work too hard to get rid of the toxins in the water so you won’t eliminate as many toxins from your body if don’t drink distilled water. Don’t drink it for more than a few weeks at a time as it also removes minerals from your cells and bones.
3. Add lemon to your water! It helps to detoxify your liver, get rid of gallstones and aids in digestion of your food.
4. Raw unfiltered apple cider vinegar; Not only is this a natural antibiotic and antiseptic but it also dissolves crystal buildup in tissues and joints that cause the stiffness of old age and often manifests itself as aching muscles, joints, and arthritis. Add 2 tablespoons to a glass of water.
5. Take Deep Breaths! The Lungs are organs of detoxification, so not only will it help you to relax and relieve tension but deep breathing exercises will help you to detoxify. Doing Yoga helps you to practice deep breathing. Using a Vaporizer and adding eucalyptus, tea tree oil, menthol or specific herbs like comfrey will help with the toxic elimination.
6. The Skin is the largest organ of detoxification. Every pore of your body is an opening, an escape route for waste material. Using natural fiber brushes or loofas helps to increase circulation thereby increasing the elimination of toxic matter.
7. Use a Sauna or take a steam bath to help eliminate toxins via the skin.
8. Sweat it out! Just plan old exercise, you know the kind that works up a sweat, you can even put on a sauna suit to increase your body temp and your sweat production.
9. Your Liver is probably the most important detoxifier of all the organs because it takes poisons and renders them harmless. Drink juices specifically for the liver such as wheatgrass, carrot, beet, dandelion, parsley, lemon, grapefruit, apple and spinach. A teaspoon of olive oil added to lemon or grapefruit juice stimulates the release of bile by the gallbladder. They also have teas available. A moist heating pad on the liver can stimulate circulation and detoxification. Physical manipulation assists in detoxifying the liver because it mechanically stimulates the organ. A good masseur/masseuse can knead and pump the liver like a baker kneads bread. I know when I get a colonic the therapist massages my liver during the colonic.
10. Of course colonics and enemas help eliminates the toxins from your colon. Did you know that toxins from the waste that stays in your colon gets redistributed back into your blood stream and causes infections, colds, headaches, weakness, fatigue, acne, etc.

If you are ready to Reign in Health and Fitness, lower your blood pressure, cholesterol, blood sugar and get rid of those excess pounds find out the 10 keys that I utilized to lose over 80 pounds and keep it off because not yesterday, not tomorrow but right NOW is YOUR time to Reign in Health and Fitness! Click Here to find out more

31 Habits of a JoyFULL Wife, Habit Number 29 - Embrace Your "Signature Self"

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. Psalm 139:14

Nowadays "brand and branding" are buzz words that are for the most part used for business purposes. The way a personal brand differs from a business brand is you're not trying to get "out there." You're not making an effort to get noticed; instead, you are making a statement that says "I own who I am." I'm known for changing my hair. It's not that I am struggling with getting it "right." It's that I love the flexibility and the fact that I have so many options to choose from. Some of the people I know actually look forward to the next style or color my hair will be. I get a kick out of that.

Your signature self is comprised of components that make you feel good about yourself and are based primarily, if not solely on your sense of style. It might be a signature fragrance, the fact that you wear a particular color, your hairstyle; or you might be known for your confident stride.

Caution: let your signature self to develop and flow naturally. Don't force it or you will appear to be an insecure copycat. Whatever sets you apart from others while making you feel great in your own skin, embrace it and celebrate your YOUniqueness with joy!

The 31 Habits of a JoyFULL Wife, Habit Number 28 "Eat Your Way to Less Stress"

You're overwhelmed, overtired, and in desperate need of some mental and physical nourishment. You're stressed. What can you do beyond throwing in the towel and hiding under the covers? Thankfully, you can relieve stress by eating certain foods and avoiding others.

Tara Geise, a registered dietitian (RD) in private practice in Orlando, Florida, and a spokesperson for American Dietetic Association says, "One of the keys is avoiding things that will give your body and mind real highs and lows like caffeine and alcohol. You don't want to intake a lot of stimulants or a lot of depressants when you're stressed." Geise also recommends skipping that sugary snack you crave when the stress builds up. "Sugar causes your blood sugar to spike and then fall quickly, which can make your energy level dip," says Geise. "Then you're low energy and stressed and that's not a good picture."
Not to worry -- there are many foods you can eat that will help with your stress levels.

Asparagus This green veggie is high in folic acid, which can help stabilize your mood. "When you're stressed, your body releases hormones that affect your mood," says Geise. "Eating certain vitamins and minerals like folic acid and B vitamins can help keep your mood steady because they're needed to make serotonin, which is a chemical that directly affects mood in a positive way."
Recommended Serving Size: 7 spears, 1/2 inch thick, cooked, 25 calories

 

Beef Even though beef often gets a bad rap, it's a great dinner option for a stressed-out family. Beef contains high levels of zinc, iron, and B vitamins, which are also known to help stabilize your mood. "People think they should stay away from beef, but it's very nutrient rich, even compared to chicken," says Geise. Ask your grocery store butcher for a lean cut if you're concerned about fat content.
Recommended Serving Size: Scant 1 cup of raw lean ground chunk, 137 calories Scant 1 cup of regular ground beef, 310 calories

Milk Milk is high in antioxidants and vitamins B2 and B12, as well as protein and calcium. Have a bowl of whole-grain cereal and low-fat milk in the morning to start your day with a stress-fighting breakfast.
Recommended Serving Size: Whole cow's milk, scant 1/2 cup, 66 calories Two percent cow's milk, scant 1/2 cup, 46 calories

Cottage Cheese and Fruit Cottage cheese is high in protein and calcium. "Foods with high protein content that aren't loaded with sugar won't cause a spike in blood sugar and will keep you satiated for a longer time," says Geise. Try mixing the cottage cheese with a fruit that is high in vitamin C like oranges. Vitamin C plays a role in fighting stress because it's an antioxidant that fights the free radicals that get released when you're stressed. These free radicals have been shown to cause cancer.
Recommended Serving Size: Creamed cottage cheese, scant 1/2 cup, 79 calories One percent fat cottage cheese, scant 1/2 cup, 72 calories 1 orange, 60 calories

 

Almonds Are you ever looking for something you can really dig your teeth into when you're stressed? Try crunching on almonds to get some aggression out. A good source of Vitamin B2 and E, as well as magnesium and zinc, almonds are high in fat, but most of the fat is unsaturated. Like vitamin C, vitamin E has been shown to fight the free radicals associated with stress, and in particular, those free radicals that cause heart disease.
Recommended Serving Size: Shelled almonds, 1/3 cup, 306 calories

Blueberries Very rich in antioxidants, blueberries offer a high-fiber, low-calorie fruit option that is also rich in stress-fighting vitamin C. Try them with cottage cheese or as a snack on their own.
Recommended Serving Size: Blueberries, 2/3 cup, 30 calories

Tuna A great lunch option, tuna is high in stress-fighting vitamins B6 and B12. Tuna is also a good low-fat protein source. "Don't load tuna down with fat by using a lot of mayonnaise," cautions Geise. "Choose a light mayo instead."
Recommended Serving Size: Tuna canned in brine, 3.5 ounces drained, 99 calories Tuna canned in oil, 3.5 ounces, drained, 189 calories

Cornflakes or Crispy Rice Cereal Although they aren't low in sugar, cornflakes and crispy rice cereal are fortified with B vitamins and folic acid to help reduce stress. Have them for breakfast with milk. Geise also recommends having them dry as an afternoon snack.

Recommended Serving Size: Cornflakes, 1 cup, 108 calories Crispy rice cereal, 2 cups, 111 calories

Reduce stress, increase joy!

31 Habits of a JoyFULL Wife, Habit Number 27 - Make Your Surroundings Lovable

After a long day, our homes are places where we want to feel supported, at peace, inspired, and free to be ourselves. In a nutshell, our homes should be sanctuaries for our bodies, minds, and spirits. They should be restorative and far from the stress-filled world of work, child or elder care, and even church obligations. But if your house isn't the sanctuary you need it to be, here are five tips to help you create that calming atmosphere, without breaking your bank:

Go with the flow

Place a small fountain near where you spend a lot of time — perhaps at your computer desk, or in your living room — and let the sound of moving water soothe you.

You can also make a fountain yourself with a small water pump (often found in aquarium stores and pond suppliers, for less than $10), rocks from your garden, and a bowl. Some of the best fountains are the ones that are homemade. (Mine is actually in my pond outside and living in Michigan, that's NOT an option until well into spring. However, there are lots of soothing table top fountains available. Also See our top 10 Beautiful, soothing indoor fountains

Plant a little happiness

Bring living plants into the house that not only add beauty to the surroundings, but that also bring in healthful oxygen and purify the air.

Plants can take in stuffy air filled with carbon dioxide and pollutants and turn it into healthful oxygen. Through a process of metabolic breakdown, the leaves of certain plants absorb harmful organic chemicals and destroy them. Spider plants excel at this feat. Even formaldehyde, a highly toxic substance, can be metabolized and converted into harmless substances by the humble little spider plant.
The most important rooms or areas to start with when using plants are those places where you spend the most time. Your bedroom, where you spend many hours sleeping, and your workspace are two places to start. In your bedroom, place a healthy plant on each side of your bed, on bedside tables. Next, place plants near where you work. For example, put plants right next to your computer if you use the computer a lot. For all of the other rooms in the house, like the living room, or kitchen, place two or three plants in the corners, depending upon the size of the room.
The best air-purifying plants are the following: areca palm, red palm, Boston fern, Australian sword fern, rubber plant, weeping fig, bamboo palm, Chinese evergreen, English ivy, gerbera daisy, mass cane/corn plant, pot mum, peace lily, and spider plants. They range from $5.00 for a small spider plant or English ivy starter, up to $80 for a large red palm. Some of these can be picked up at your local nursery and others can be ordered on line.

Smells so good

Introduce beautiful scents and aromas into your home. These can come from natural sources like sprigs of evergreen trees, cinnamon brooms, scented flowers, or herbal essences. Different plants and herbs produce different beneficial results. For example, lavender is an excellent stress reliever, spearmint can help bring greater mental clarity, and anise has been known to help to relieve menstrual cramps.

You can prepare a bath with herbs, as well to get a direct infusion of their healing and aromatic properties to your body.
For a quick way to bring a hearth-like and warm homey aroma into your home, try this: Sprinkle 1 teaspoon of cinnamon, and a 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla into a pan filled with 2 inches of water and heat on the stove until steam rises from the mixture and permeates your home.

Bring in the beauty of nature

Arrange natural objects that in locations throughout the house.
For example, place beautiful shells around the sink or on top of a cabinet in the bathroom, or smooth stones on your desk. The best part about using natural objects to beautify your home is that not only are they free, but also they help you create a unique and relaxing setting to come home to at the end of a hard day.

Now hear this

Play natural sounds like bird songs, crickets, rain falling softly, or flowing rivers. These natural sounds can immediately relax you and even make you feel more inspired.
One of our favorite providers of real nature sounds is www.naturesounds.ca. Be careful not to purchase artificial nature sounds. These claim to be natural sounds (like surf breaking, rain falling, etc), but are noises that are actually mechanically created in a studio... and they're just not the same.

Creating space and actually utilizing a space to unwind and detox your mind is an excellent way to add JOY to your day.