What I Learned by the Time I Turned 50

54 Baby!

• God's majesty becomes more evident to me each day.
• I've been blessed with a phenomenal family.
• I had a very happy childhood.
• I'm much smarter than my kids (but my kids are much smarter than they pretend to be).
• I won't go to hell for drinking an occasional glass of wine or doing the hustle.
• It is truly more blessed to give than to receive.
• My joints can predict the weather.
• Favor ain't fair - neither is gravity.
• Nips, tucks and liposuction are NOT evil 
• It's "hip" to be square.
• Worrying about what others think of me is a waste of my time.
• The only enemy I have is the devil.
• I wish I'd learned how to make Nana's cornbread dressing.
• The bible is the best How-To book ever written.
• Grandparenting is like math.  It divides your time, adds joy to your life, subtracts from your wallet, and multiplies your Kodak moments.
• Watching my kids grow up is bittersweet.
• I'm grateful for my girlfriends.
• Children have a way of humbling you - one way or another.
• The key to really, really good spousal intimacy is quality, not quantity - no really!
• Tea is the nectar if God.
• Being transparent is far less stressful than faking it - people find out anyway.
• Now I have respect for money.
• You can never have too many pairs of unmentionables.
• Bras and Pantyhose were invented by someone with a sadistic mind.
• Now I have something to blame my mistakes on - my age.