Transparent moment: Now that I'm S-L-O-W-L-Y approaching the back end of my 50s, I have several regrets about things I did or didn't do years ago.
I don't want this post to be construed as a pity party though. The reason I am sharing my regrets with you is because of the wonderful words of encouragement that leaped off the pages of the Bible this morning. I chose to read from the first chapter of Luke today.Without trying to teach a Bible lesson, I'll just recap by saying the first chapter of Luke talks about the conception and birth of John the Baptist. What I found significant was the fact that, like Abraham and Sarah, John's parents were past what would be considered the prime age to conceive, bare and raise a child. Nevertheless God saw fit to "make it happen." He sent Zechariah a message via the angel Gabriel but because of his advanced years, the elderly man scoffed at the notion and dismissed it as being too late. Nevertheless Gabriel attempted to reassure the future patriarch. "But the angel said to him: “Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you are to call him John.He will be a joy and delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth." Luke 1:13-14
Zechariah had such a hard time believing God for this miracle that the Lord caused him to become a mute and wouldn't allow him to speak until the child was born. This reminded me that it unbelief is a punishable sin. But withoutfaithitisimpossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. Hebrews 11:6
Like Zechariah, there are things I've longed to do, to be and to possess but for various reasons it just hasn't happened. Unfortunately a lot of it is because I didn't really try - and the older I get the less like it seemed that I will ever see fulfillment of many of secret aspirations. I'll admit that I know better. My grandmother was a great example of a person who didn't allow her age to define her. She might not have been formally educated, wealthy or famous but she left a great legacy. Those who remember her often speak of her kindness and generosity but also the fact that she loved to dance. Nana used to say to me that if you sit around you'll rust out. Even though she was a marvelous cook, she continued to take cake decorating classes, and liked to experiment with new recipes. When the Food Network came about, she stayed glued the to Emeril Lagasse and Paula Dean shows - even after she passed the mantel of cooking for the family along to me. The lesson I learned from her (but apparently allowed myself to forget) was to never give up. Her age is now being disputed among family members, but according to the U.S. Census of 1910, she was 96 years old when she left this life. She remained in good health (including playing games and dancing with MY grandchildren) and of sound mind until approximately six months prior to her "sunset."
"Nana"
Now back to the analogy from today's scripture: Being past the flower of her age so to speak, Elizabeth could have simply faced her old age with a sense of failure. But her faith and vibrancy serves as a reminder that God watches over all of His children (even me) with loving care. Elizabeth trusted and God rewarded her. Upon discovering that she was had indeed conceived, Elizabeth kept herself hidden until for five months. However, she played hostess to, and no doubt mentored, her younger cousin Mary. Many historians agree that Mary was approximately 16 years old at the time of the Immaculate Conception. She also had to come to terms with what the rest of us would have considered impossible - to become the mother of the Savior of the world! Yet she carried out her assignment gracefully and full of faith. Elizabeth understood the magnitude of her young Mentee's holy assignment as she proclaimed, "Blessed is she who believed, for there will be a fulfillment of those things which were things which were told her from the Lord."
The message that resonates in my mind from reading Luke today is that,
God has planted a set of desires within me and that I put the limitations on myself not Him.
If I am to live a life that pleases God, I have to seek him diligently to find out how he wants to equip and empower me to fulfill my destiny.
Elizabeth kept her anticipated blessing "close to the vest" and only shared with a very close circle, in order not to be distracted by naysayers and short-sighted haters I have to do the same, regardless of how ridiculous my goals seem.
When I complete the assignments God has given me, not only will I have a sense of accomplishment, but others will joyfully benefit as well.
10 Easy Romantic Ideas to Spice Up Your Busy Marriage
These days between jobs, kids and the drama of everyday life, romance tends to get lost in the shuffle.
Many couples say “It’s just too much work”, but it doesn’t have to be that way!
Some of the most romantic ideas are short and sweet.
To prove it, here’s a list of 10 romantic things that only take a few minutes to prepare: 1. Mystery Kisses
Stop by the store and pick up 5 pieces of candy with distinctly
different flavors. Think of ones like butterscotch, peppermint, root
beer barrels, watermelon Jolly Ranchers, lemon drops, and well, you get
the idea.
Later on, when you’re alone, have your spouse sit down and close
their eyes. Unwrap the first piece of candy and suck on it until the
flavor has saturated your mouth. Take it out and give them a big French
kiss! Can they guess the flavor? If they guess every one right they
win…a kiss! 2. Strawberry and Chocolate Surprise
Buy some strawberries and a few bars of your spouse’s favorite
chocolate on the way home from work to surprise them after dinner with
chocolate-dipped strawberries!
Melt the chocolate in a double boiler or by boiling water in a large
pot and setting a bowl (with chocolate) inside to keep the chocolate
from burning. Coat the strawberries and let cool, or just take the bowl
of melted chocolate to the couch and feed them to each other
freshly-dipped. 3. Origami Love
Express your feelings in a unique way by writing your spouse a love letter on an origami flower. Buy a few sheets of pink or yellow paper from a local copy shop and get started with these easy directions.
It only takes a few minutes of folding to create a love letter that they will never forget. 4. Custom Kisses
Remove the little slips of paper from a half dozen Hershey’s Kisses
and replace them with your own slips of paper, each listing one thing
you love about your spouse. 5. Their Favorite Ice Cream
Hide a pint of plain Haagen Dazs in the freezer and a few of your
spouse’s favorite candy bars elsewhere. After dinner let them have fun
creating their dream flavors Cold Stone-style with chopped-up
Butterfingers, Snickers, M&M’s, or whatever! 6. Music of Your Lives
Take a musical journey through your lives by listening to the #1 song
on your birthdays for every year you’ve been alive. See what your
parents were rocking out to when you were in the cradle and laugh about
the first songs you remember hearing. This is a great way to share
childhood memories and funny stories.
Start by pulling up this page at Wikipedia to find the top songs and then go to grooveshark and listen for free! 7. Steamy Message
Tomorrow morning, while your spouse is in the shower, draw a big
heart on the mirror with your initials (i.e. J + B) in the middle, or
write a little note like “Beth is cute”. They’ll love it. 8. After Dinner Menu
After finishing up with dinner and the dishes, present your spouse
with a menu for the evening’s entertainment. Design the menu to look
like a real one and print it out with items for different “courses”
like:
Appetizer: kissing, cuddling, tickling
Entree: romantic movie of their choice, music by the fire, board games, moonlit walk
Dessert: massage, candlelit bath, or ???
They can only choose one item from each course – don’t be greedy! 9. Automotive Treasure
Put together a little treasure hunt that takes place entirely within
your spouse’s car. Hide 3 or 4 clues, such as “It holds your change and
the next clue”, to lead them around the interior of the car and trunk.
Start the hunt with a little text message or by leaving the first clue out in the open.
Make the treasure something small such as a few green M&M’s with a
“Save for later” note, or bigger like a coupon for a massage. 10. Promise of Things to Come
Drop off or mail a gift to your partner’s work that hints at an
exciting evening without providing any details. This could be a ripe
strawberry with whipped cream, lingerie, a small vial of massage oil, or
even a blindfold.
Include a note that reads “See you tonight” and let them spend the
afternoon wondering. They will probably try to call you. Tell them
nothing. What are some fun, simple and romantic ideas that you’d add to this list?
Draw
me, we will run after thee: the king hath brought me into his chambers:
we will be glad and rejoice in thee, we will remember thy love more
than wine: the upright love thee. SOS 1:4
Of
the 31 habits I've shared this month, I'm sure some on you have
wondered why I'm been virtually silent when it comes to talking about
your husband. The reason is that I wanted to drive home the fact that we
have to learn how to consistently rely on the joy that only comes from
God - and contentment with who we are before we can expect to have the
added benefits that come with a lifetime covenant partnership.
It
has been my experience from coaching countless wives and
wives-in-training, that there is a misinterpretation of where joy and
contentment truly originate from - and how they are sustained. Having
said all of that, I provided 30 recommendations for taking the
responsibility of making you happy out of the hands of your husband; or
anyone else for that matter, and leaving it with you.
As
I've said to married people many times, your spouse is NOT responsible
for making you happy. Once you embrace that principle, you can begin to
see yourself and your spouse as God does, love deeply and genuinely, and
have the unspeakable joy that is mentioned in the bible.
Still,
I can imagine that some of you would like to know how do you keep your
love alive? How do you fall in love all over again?
Research on successful marriage suggests five actions you can take to fall in love again – to incur the passion you once knew in your marriage. Here they are in nutshell:
1. Research has revealed time and time again
the importance of the “loving touch.” The human touch is paramount to
the most basic of all human connections. So, the first thing you must do
in re-establishing the passion of your relationship is to touch!
Touch often. Touch much. Hold hands when you walk. Take turns wrapping
around each other in bed at night. Feel the warmth. Feel the love. If
you pass your spouse 100 times a day, touch them 100 times. By doing so,
you are acknowledging their presence and you are telling them how much
you love them. You cannot express love without the human touch. Get
started today!
2. Engage in a process that allows you to re-establish the communication links between the two of you. Start with these three questions:
1. Why did we fall in love?
2. Why did we get married?
3. What are our
hopes and dreams for the future?
The communicative links between the
two of you are highly important and no love, no marriage, and no
relationship will ever be jump-started again without the
re-establishment of the communicative ties that bind. Getting serious
about communication in your relationship is among your highest
priorities. Get started today! Check out our “Seven-Week Program for
Developing Ongoing Sharing in Your Marriage” in the appendix of our
book, Golden Anniversaries: The Seven Secrets of Successful Marriage.
3. Work hard to have fun with each other! Dine out at your favorite restaurant.
Spend a night in a motel. Take a vacation to Disneyland, just the two
of you! Cook a romantic dinner at home. Whatever you do, do something
that ignites the passion and the fun! Do something that takes your
relationship “beyond boring.” Do something together that makes your
lives exciting and fun-filled. Marriages can fall into the doldrums but
it doesn’t have to be that way. Rediscover what makes you excited, what
gives you a sense of adventure, and what makes your adrenalin flow!
Successful marriages are not boring! Plan a passion starter today!
4. Upend expectancies! Do not always do that which is predictable.
Here’s an example. One of the lovely couples we interviewed a few years
ago told this wonderful story. Their life together was getting too
predictable and too boring. At 85 years of age, they were both entirely
too focused on “settling in.” They would sit in front of the TV, rarely
talking, and content with their station in life. Shoot, they were both
85 years old they thought! But as they shared with us, it didn’t have to
be that way. When Clarence came home from a golf outing one glorious
Sunday afternoon, he was met by his beautiful wife, Grace, at the front
door in her “altogether.” Grace thought, “What the heck, if I can’t get
him interested in anything but golf and TV, I will just meet him at the
door naked. Maybe he will get interested in me!” As it turns out,
Clarence got the message. Of course, what happened after this homecoming
episode they didn’t share with us! The most important lesson is this –
Clarence and Grace decided that upending expectancies was a good thing
from time to time! Try it. You be surprised at what can happen!
5. Tell your spouse how much you love them and why!
Never, we repeat, never, fall into the trap that says, “I don’t have to
tell him/her I love them, he/she knows I do.” Nothing could be further
from the truth! People who love people are the luckiest people in the
world, of that you can be sure. And to tell the one you love, “I Love
You” and to do it often, makes them even luckier! Never take the one you
love for granted. Big mistake! To love people is wonderful. To tell
them you love them is amongst the greatest gifts you could ever give.
Start today.
You see, the rekindling of love is not so complicated.
Don’t make it so. Just take these five simple actions and you will
re-ignite your love affair with your husband.
It's not rocket science - the healthier your temple is, the more joy you will experience. One thing that is vital to having a healthy body is ridding it ofthe harmful toxins we eat, breath and are exposed to. Here is my buddy Shelita Williams' article on how to detox. For more information about weight loss and other ways to take control over your circumstances, visit her on the web.
Every
day we breathe in, eat, and have toxins floating around in our system
causing sluggish metabolism, increasing our chances of cancer, diabetes,
heart disease and the list goes on. I know you are super busy but I
also know you want toReign in Health and Fitness. I put together a few simple things you can do the get rid of the excess toxins and improve your health!
1. Drink fresh Juice; Apple, Beet, Cucumber and
Ginger are specific for detoxification. It’s best when you are doing a
juice fast but you will still reap benefits if you don’t. 2. Drink distilled water; Your kidneys are organs
for detoxification. When you don’t drink distilled water your kidneys
have to work too hard to get rid of the toxins in the water so you won’t
eliminate as many toxins from your body if don’t drink distilled water.
Don’t drink it for more than a few weeks at a time as it also removes minerals from your cells and bones. 3. Add lemon to your water! It helps to detoxify your liver, get rid of gallstones and aids in digestion of your food. 4. Raw unfiltered apple cider vinegar; Not only is
this a natural antibiotic and antiseptic but it also dissolves crystal
buildup in tissues and joints that cause the stiffness of old age and
often manifests itself as aching muscles, joints, and arthritis. Add 2
tablespoons to a glass of water. 5. Take Deep Breaths! The Lungs are organs of
detoxification, so not only will it help you to relax and relieve
tension but deep breathing exercises will help you to detoxify. Doing
Yoga helps you to practice deep breathing. Using a Vaporizer and adding
eucalyptus, tea tree oil, menthol or specific herbs like comfrey will
help with the toxic elimination. 6. The Skin is the largest organ of detoxification.
Every pore of your body is an opening, an escape route for waste
material. Using natural fiber brushes or loofas helps to increase
circulation thereby increasing the elimination of toxic matter.
7. Use a Sauna or take a steam bath to help eliminate toxins via the skin. 8. Sweat it out! Just plan old exercise, you know
the kind that works up a sweat, you can even put on a sauna suit to
increase your body temp and your sweat production. 9. Your Liver is probably the most important
detoxifier of all the organs because it takes poisons and renders them
harmless. Drink juices specifically for the liver such as wheatgrass,
carrot, beet, dandelion, parsley, lemon, grapefruit, apple and spinach. A
teaspoon of olive oil added to lemon or grapefruit juice stimulates the
release of bile by the gallbladder. They also have teas available. A
moist heating pad on the liver can stimulate circulation and
detoxification. Physical manipulation assists in detoxifying the liver
because it mechanically stimulates the organ. A good masseur/masseuse
can knead and pump the liver like a baker kneads bread. I know when I
get a colonic the therapist massages my liver during the colonic. 10. Of course colonics and enemas help eliminates
the toxins from your colon. Did you know that toxins from the waste that
stays in your colon gets redistributed back into your blood stream and
causes infections, colds, headaches, weakness, fatigue, acne, etc.
If
you are ready to Reign in Health and Fitness, lower your blood
pressure, cholesterol, blood sugar and get rid of those excess pounds
find out the 10 keys that I utilized to lose over 80 pounds and keep it
off because not yesterday, not tomorrow but right NOW is YOUR time to
Reign in Health and Fitness! Click Here to find out more
I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. Psalm 139:14
Nowadays "brand and branding" are buzz words that are for the most part used for business purposes. The way a personal brand differs from a business brand is you're not trying to get "out there." You're not making an effort to get noticed; instead, you are making a statement that says "I own who I am." I'm known for changing my hair. It's not that I am struggling with getting it "right." It's that I love the flexibility and the fact that I have so many options to choose from. Some of the people I know actually look forward to the next style or color my hair will be. I get a kick out of that.
Your signatureself is comprised of components that make you feel good about yourself and are based primarily, if not solely on your sense of style. It might be a signature fragrance, the fact that you wear a particular color, your hairstyle; or you might be known for your confident stride.
Caution: let your signature self to develop and flow naturally. Don't force it or you will appear to be an insecure copycat. Whatever sets you apart from others while making you feel great in your own skin, embrace it and celebrate your YOUniqueness with joy!
You're overwhelmed, overtired, and in desperate need of some mental
and physical nourishment. You're stressed. What can you do beyond
throwing in the towel and hiding under the covers? Thankfully, you can
relieve stress by eating certain foods and avoiding others.
Tara
Geise, a registered dietitian (RD) in private practice in Orlando,
Florida, and a spokesperson for American Dietetic Association says, "One
of the keys is avoiding things that will give your body and mind real
highs and lows like caffeine and alcohol. You don't want to intake a lot
of stimulants or a lot of depressants when you're stressed." Geise also
recommends skipping that sugary snack you crave when the stress builds
up. "Sugar causes your blood sugar to spike and then fall
quickly, which can make your energy level dip," says Geise. "Then
you're low energy and stressed and that's not a good picture."
Not to worry -- there are many foods you can eat that will help with your stress levels.
Asparagus
This green veggie is high in folic acid, which can help stabilize
your mood. "When you're stressed, your body releases hormones that
affect your mood," says Geise. "Eating certain vitamins and minerals
like folic acid and B vitamins can help keep your mood steady because
they're needed to make serotonin, which is a chemical that directly
affects mood in a positive way." Recommended Serving Size:
7 spears, 1/2 inch thick, cooked, 25 calories
Beef
Even though beef often gets a bad rap, it's a great dinner option
for a stressed-out family. Beef contains high levels of zinc, iron, and
B vitamins, which are also known to help stabilize your mood. "People
think they should stay away from beef, but it's very nutrient rich, even
compared to chicken," says Geise. Ask your grocery store butcher for a
lean cut if you're concerned about fat content. Recommended Serving Size:
Scant 1 cup of raw lean ground chunk, 137 calories
Scant 1 cup of regular ground beef, 310 calories
Milk
Milk is high in antioxidants and vitamins B2 and B12, as well as protein and calcium. Have a bowl of whole-grain cereal and low-fat milk in the morning to start your day with a stress-fighting breakfast. Recommended Serving Size:
Whole cow's milk, scant 1/2 cup, 66 calories
Two percent cow's milk, scant 1/2 cup, 46 calories
Cottage Cheese and Fruit
Cottage cheese is high in protein and calcium. "Foods with high
protein content that aren't loaded with sugar won't cause a spike in
blood sugar and will keep you satiated for a longer time," says Geise.
Try mixing the cottage cheese with a fruit that is high in vitamin C
like oranges. Vitamin C plays a role in fighting stress because it's an
antioxidant that fights the free radicals that get released when you're
stressed. These free radicals have been shown to cause cancer. Recommended Serving Size:
Creamed cottage cheese, scant 1/2 cup, 79 calories
One percent fat cottage cheese, scant 1/2 cup, 72 calories
1 orange, 60 calories Almonds
Are you ever looking for something you can really dig your teeth
into when you're stressed? Try crunching on almonds to get some
aggression out. A good source of Vitamin B2 and E, as well as magnesium
and zinc, almonds are high in fat, but most of the fat is unsaturated.
Like vitamin C, vitamin E has been shown to fight the free radicals
associated with stress, and in particular, those free radicals that
cause heart disease. Recommended Serving Size:
Shelled almonds, 1/3 cup, 306 calories
Blueberries
Very rich in antioxidants, blueberries offer a high-fiber,
low-calorie fruit option that is also rich in stress-fighting vitamin C.
Try them with cottage cheese or as a snack on their own. Recommended Serving Size:
Blueberries, 2/3 cup, 30 calories
Tuna
A great lunch option, tuna is high in stress-fighting vitamins B6
and B12. Tuna is also a good low-fat protein source. "Don't load tuna
down with fat by using a lot of mayonnaise," cautions Geise. "Choose a
light mayo instead." Recommended Serving Size:
Tuna canned in brine, 3.5 ounces drained, 99 calories
Tuna canned in oil, 3.5 ounces, drained, 189 calories
Cornflakes or Crispy Rice Cereal
Although they aren't low in sugar, cornflakes and crispy rice
cereal are fortified with B vitamins and folic acid to help reduce
stress. Have them for breakfast with milk. Geise also recommends having
them dry as an afternoon snack.
After a long day, our homes are places where we want to feel
supported, at peace, inspired, and free to be ourselves. In a nutshell,
our homes should be sanctuaries for our bodies, minds, and spirits. They
should be restorative and far from the stress-filled world of work, child or elder care, and even church obligations.
But if your house isn't the sanctuary you need it to be, here are five
tips to help you create that calming atmosphere, without breaking your
bank:
Go with the flow
Place a small fountain near where
you spend a lot of time — perhaps at your computer desk, or in your
living room — and let the sound of moving water soothe you.
You can also make a fountain yourself with a small water pump (often
found in aquarium stores and pond suppliers, for less than $10), rocks
from your garden, and a bowl. Some of the best fountains are the ones
that are homemade. (Mine is actually in my pond outside and living in Michigan, that's NOT an option until well into spring. However, there are lots of soothing table top fountains available. AlsoSee our top 10 Beautiful, soothing indoor fountains
Plant a little happiness
Bring living plants into the house that not only add beauty to the
surroundings, but that also bring in healthful oxygen and purify the
air.
Plants can take in stuffy air filled with carbon dioxide and
pollutants and turn it into healthful oxygen. Through a process of
metabolic breakdown, the leaves of certain plants absorb harmful organic
chemicals and destroy them. Spider plants excel at this feat. Even
formaldehyde, a highly toxic substance, can be metabolized and converted
into harmless substances by the humble little spider plant.
The most important rooms or areas to start with when using plants are
those places where you spend the most time. Your bedroom, where you
spend many hours sleeping, and your workspace are two places to start.
In your bedroom, place a healthy plant on each side of your bed, on
bedside tables. Next, place plants near where you work. For example, put
plants right next to your computer if you use the computer a lot. For
all of the other rooms in the house, like the living room, or kitchen,
place two or three plants in the corners, depending upon the size of the
room.
The best air-purifying plants are the following: areca palm, red
palm, Boston fern, Australian sword fern, rubber plant, weeping fig,
bamboo palm, Chinese evergreen, English ivy, gerbera daisy, mass
cane/corn plant, pot mum, peace lily, and spider plants. They range from
$5.00 for a small spider plant or English ivy starter, up to $80 for a
large red palm. Some of these can be picked up at your local nursery and
others can be ordered on line.
Smells so good
Introduce beautiful scents and aromas into your home. These can come
from natural sources like sprigs of evergreen trees, cinnamon brooms,
scented flowers, or herbal essences. Different plants and herbs produce
different beneficial results. For example, lavender is an excellent
stress reliever, spearmint can help bring greater mental clarity, and
anise has been known to help to relieve menstrual cramps.
You can prepare a bath with herbs, as well to get a direct infusion of their healing and aromatic properties to your body.
For a quick way to bring a hearth-like and warm homey aroma into your home, try this: Sprinkle 1 teaspoon of cinnamon,
and a 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla into a pan filled with 2 inches of water
and heat on the stove until steam rises from the mixture and permeates
your home.
Bring in the beauty of nature
Arrange natural objects that in locations throughout the house.
For example, place beautiful shells around the sink or on top of a
cabinet in the bathroom, or smooth stones on your desk. The best part
about using natural objects to beautify your home is that not only are
they free, but also they help you create a unique and relaxing setting
to come home to at the end of a hard day.
Now hear this
Play natural sounds like bird songs, crickets, rain falling softly,
or flowing rivers. These natural sounds can immediately relax you and
even make you feel more inspired.
One of our favorite providers of real nature sounds is www.naturesounds.ca.
Be careful not to purchase artificial nature sounds. These claim to be
natural sounds (like surf breaking, rain falling, etc), but are noises
that are actually mechanically created in a studio... and they're just
not the same.
Creating space and actually utilizing a space to unwind and detox your mind is an excellent way to add JOY to your day.
How long has it been since you've given yourself an upgrade?
In
these times and conditions dominated by downsizing and scaling back, it
may have been quite some time since you've upgraded yourself or your
life.
A nationalfood
chain recently ran an advertisement on tv that showed co-workers riding
an elevator up to their offices in the morning. One woman held in her
hands a breakfast sandwich and coffee while speaking with a colleague
with a very very tiny and disproportionately small waist because he's
been “tightening his belt.”
The
problem with the constant belt-tightening and scaling back that many of
us are doing is that it often results in an overall feeling of
constriction. Not only are you limiting the amount of money you spend,
you could also box yourself into a very tense and tight place largely
because of the fear and expectations of lack and scarcity that can
accompany a downsizing mindset.
Let me be clear here...
As
I encourage you to upgrade yourself and your life, I'm not advocating
that you max out your credit cards or bombard yourself with material
objects.
The kind of upgrade
that I'm recommending starts on the inside with a shift in attitude,
perception and expectation and it almost always extends to your outside
body, career, health, finances, relationships and life.
When
you upgrade your computer or laptop, sometimes you go out and purchase a
brand new model that is shinier and features more options. Upgrades
also happen inside the computer. Perhaps a larger RAM is installed in
your existing machine. Maybe some new programs are downloaded. Often
old files are deleted or placed on a memory stick or some other kind of
external storage device.
The effects of a computer upgrade are usually quicker and more efficient operations and/or expanded options and features.
There are so many ways that you can upgrade yourself and your life. If you feel overwhelmed or at a loss when you consider what to upgrade, try this exercise...
Find
a quiet and comfortable space where you can be uninterrupted. Place
paper and a pen near where you are sitting or reclining. Move your
attention to within yourself. Focus mostly on your breathing. If you
know how to meditate, you can use meditation techniques to help.
Clear
your mind from the busy-ness of your day and slow yourself down. Once
you are relaxed and your mind is relatively clear, ask your future self
to communicate with you. Just invite your future self into your
awareness. This future self is ultimately wiser and more experienced
than you are now because she or he has already made it through the
current challenges you might face.
Ask
your future self to share with you a few of the expansions in yourself
and your life 1 year from today. You can write these down on your paper
to remember them. Now ask your future self what has changed about you
and your life in 5 years and then 10 years.
If
feelings of resistance, doubt or fear come up, make note of those, but
continue to listen to your future self. This exercise can help you
become clearer about the areas of your life that you might begin to
upgrade in the near future.
Your encounter with your future self
isn't meant to cement your actual future in stone. This is merely a
sparking point to put into motion potential and desired change.
Your life is up to you to create and it is always changing. When you
allow for an upgrade and then take inspired action, you nourish growth
and expansion.
Look at the notes you took during the
“conversation” with your future self. Are you particularly drawn to any
of the areas listed? If so, choose one area in which you will begin to
upgrade. Start to consider what an upgrade to your health, your
financial state, your relationships, your physical living and working
space or other areas might look like.
From
this vision of the upgrade you chose, you can begin to open up to
changes in your habits, your responses and your activities that will
move you closer to actually living your vision.
Take
your time and be gentle with yourself as you make changes. Each time
you encounter inner resistance to the upgrade you want, return to your
vision and to the eager or hopeful feelings that accompany it.
Excerpt from "An Enemy Called Average" by John L. Mason
"A majority, many times, is a group of highly motivated snails. If a thousand people say something foolish, it's still foolish. Truth is never dependent upon consensus of opinion.
In I Peter 2:9, the Bible says of us Christians, ...ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Romans 12:2 exhorts us, And be not conformed to this world, but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye many prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
One of the greatest compliments that anybody can give you is to say that you are different. We Christians live in this world, but we are aliens. We should talk differently, act differently, and perform differently. We are called to stand out.
There should be something different about you. If you don't stand out in a group, if there is not something unique or different in your life, you should re-evaluate yourself.
One way to stand head and shoulders above the crowd is to choose to do regular, ordinary things in an extraordinary and supernatural way with great enthusiasm. God has always done some of His very best work through remnants, when the circumstances appear to be stacked against them. In fact, in every battle described int he Bible, God was always on the side of the "underdog," the minority.
Majority rule is not always right. It is usually those people who don't have dreams or visions of their own who want to take a vote. People in groups tend to agree on courses of action that they as individuals know are not right.
Don't be persuaded or dissuaded by group opinion. It doesn't make any difference whether anyone else believes, you must believe. Never take direction from a crowd for your personal life. And never choose to quit just because somebody else disagrees with you. In fact, the two worst things you can say to yourself when you get an idea is: 1) "That has never been done before," and 2) "That has been done before" Just because somebody else has gone a particular way and not succeeded does not mean that you too will fail.
Be a pioneer, catch a few arrows, and stand out." - joyFULLY [emphasis mine]
I know we "deep thinkers" like to tell people stuff like "beauty's only skin deep," "beauty comes from within,"etc., but what REAL woman doesn't want to feel pretty at least sometimes? If that were not the case then why are the beauty and fashion industry faring so well, even in this so-called lean economy? When I was a member of Mary Kay Cosmetics' independent sales force, one of the many mantras that rang true was that cosmetics is a recession proof industry. Granted, you may find the need to scale back from MAC to Maybelline, but we women are still going to buy make up, jewelry and clothing to make ourselves feel good. To that I say amen and I'm not ashamed.
What I want to encourage you to not view your desire to look and feel pretty as vain or carnal. There is some type of correlation of the way a person esteems themselves to how they feel about their physical appearance. Yes, of course there are extremes and I'm not talking about people who are addicted to nips and tucks, shopaholics and the like, but every now and then we need to create and execute a session of retail therapy - including an appropriate spending plan.
So here is your assignment, should you choose to accept it:
PLAN a shopping trip include a list of what you want to buy and how much you can afford to spend.
Select a date
Decide whether to bring a friend along or if you want to do shop solo
*Just a suggestion: If you're in the habit of shopping a chain stores or at the mall, consider visiting a boutique.
You'll get more personalized attention
You're more likely to purchase garments that are mass produced
You'll help an entrepreneur
Finally, DO NOT use this particular shopping trip as reward for shedding pounds
unless you happen to already be at your goal weight. The object of this
HABIT is to stimulate your joy juices right where you are - whether
you're currently a size 6 or a size 26.
The teacher said,"the brain can be trained."
Hmmm, thought I, "Can this be true?"
On he continued...
"You see, your brain was configured by God,
So we can think on Him and live life in peace and harmony.
In the Garden of Eden, at the beginning of time,
There was no pain, no dissension, only unity and joy divine."
Train the brain still I thought? Hmmm, does this hold the key... along with the Spirit who now dwells within me?
The key for me to be united, disciplined, and sync'd with He?
Will this let me be the me He intended when He created me?
Regardless of the pain, grief, and heartaches that tend to...come my way.
Sure, with His Word at hand, a quiet heart, and my mind turned toward Him, it is then I can hear his voice;
Through all of this, He ensures my mind will be transformed,
To the conformity of His Son.
Okay, I say, a brain can be trained, with both sides working in unison.
I immerse my thoughts deep in Him, The Word,
Trusting, believing, my mind begins to conform... Toward a mind like His.
My heart and soul by Him was won.
Redeemed.
Bought with His blood.
His plan all along.
My brain truly was designed to think on Him,
Having the potential to believe, have faith, and be disciplined;
To love Him above all others, love one another, and have peace and joy within.
So yes, I say my brain can be trained.
So I can be free to be me and united with Thee.
To have the mind of Christ.
For it is freedom Christ came, and whom the Son sets free is indeed free.
Free to be the me that person He intended me to be.
I am exiting now from the widened road that keeps me so distracted and traveling so
fast.
I can now begin to travel the narrow path which moment by moment will lead me so Him. Training the brain to be in sync with Him.
What a journey... free to be me which He intended all along.
Throughout our lives, at one time or another, we have, and will
continue, have to deal with drama. We will be put in testy situations we
would much rather avoid.
Avoidance is not going make drama go away. As a matter of fact drama thrives in an passive/aggressive environment.
Recurring drama is cause by:
Jealousy
Self hatred
A need for attention
Regardless of the symptomatic cause, you can't allow someone else's mania to dictate your home, finances or peace of mind. That's what I call job robbing. As sympathetic as you'd like to be, there comes a point when you have to draw a line in the sand. In other words create boundaries. This is sometimes difficult, if not painful but unless you want to spend the rest of whatever time you have on earth devoid of joy, you're going to have to do what the moniker on the T-shirt above says.
Here is a bit of advice that we could all use
on handling these inevitable occurrences with a bit more finesse.
5 Tips for Dealing with Drama
Know better. Realize that when others go out of their way to put someone down, there is usually some underlying reason.
Don't get involved. If and when someone decides to
insult you, the best thing you can do is smile and state "no comment."
There is no reason for snide remarks and comebacks. Just smile and
change the subject, and let them know that you refuse to be bothered by
such immature and futile tactics. They're wasting their time, and
embarrassing themselves when you don't let it bother you. It is better
to finish the conversation sooner without being insulted.
Get over it. The person who is trying to bring you
down is first and foremost trying to get a reaction out of you. If you
play it off like it doesn't bother you (even if it does) then they
automatically lose. Make a mental note to stay away from this person
until they learn how to behave properly, if ever they do. Let them work
out their own internal struggles themselves.
Vent only to someone you truly trust. Sometimes we do
need someone to lend an ear so we can get a few things off our chest.
But don't make the mistake of ranting to everyone who is willing to
listen, no matter how secret they promise to keep your quotes.
Don't feed into it. Don't let the person see that you're getting upset because that will give them more incentive to keep on going.
No More Drama, Mary J. Blige
Tired of drama running your house? Detroit area residents can attend a workshop on Saturday, February 2. Click here for the details about the "Not in My House" workshop.
"My name is Venus and I am investmentally challenged (yes, I know that's not a real word.)"
When it comes to giving a hoot about investing, I admit that at this stage of my life I am just getting there. However, the handwriting is without a doubt on the wall and I know I've got to get into the game. By the way, I'm not the least bit discouraged because I've waited this long. Timing is everything and I believe that what God has for me is for me. Since I don't know diddly about investing, I researched some blogs and thought the one below might have some great starter tips.
I also plan to purchase a book written by Gail Perry-Mason, (no known relation) an acquaintance who knows really knows her way around the Dow-Jones, and that jazz. I plan to devour the book as I joyfully, take charge of wealth building for my future and to build a financial legacy for the future generations of my family. Girl, Make Your Money Grow, is Gail's second book and was written with co-author
Glinda Bridgforth made national best seller status.
Detroiter Gail Perry-Mason has come a long way, from foster care to
caring for others. Gail is a respected authority in the financial
industry. And now she can add bestselling author to her list of
accomplishments. And it’s her years of experience, coupled with her down
to earth but also down to business style that has made her a sought
after speaker and presenter. Gail maintains a packed schedule of media
and speaking engagements. She regularly addresses capacity crowds
educating people on financial literacy and has conducted financial
training sessions and workshops for companies such as DaimlerChrysler,
IBM and Wells Fargo. Gail’s wisdom also hits the airwaves and she
co-hosted an award-winning talk show entitled “Building Wealth,” via
radio broadcast on MIX 92.3 and a television broadcast on Comcast Cable
and currently has MIX Money Minute on Clear Channel every Sunday. She
has appeared on all the local Detroit television networks, and on
national outlets such as BET, Fox News, PBS, CNN, MSNBC, and NPR Radio.
Gail also recognizes the necessity of teaching youth the importance of money
management and she founded and directed the original Money Camp for
Teens and the first youth investment club. Each year Gail hosts a Money
Camp for Youth, which has instructed over 6,000 young people in the
Detroit-Metro area and mentored over 25 young women who are now
professionals in the financial industry. Currently she is conducting a
program in the Detroit Public Schools that teaches financial literacy
and outlines the steps to entrepreneurship.
Blog Repost:
5 Ways Women Can Be More Confident Investors
A recent survey says many women are risk averse. Here's how to build your courage — and your portfolio.
Kerry Hannon has spent more than 25 years covering personal
finance for Forbes, Money, U.S. News & World Report, and USA Today.
Her website is kerryhannon.com. Follow her on Twitter @kerryhannon.
Women are typically the chief financial officers of their
households. They pay the monthly bills, cut the tuition checks and make
sure groceries are in the cupboard. They even manage the mortgage, as I
noted in my Next Avenue post about women and homeownership. The bottom line: Women make financial decisions every single day.
But for some reason, that money muscle doesn’t translate into mojo for
boomer women when it comes to investing, according to a study just
released by Prudential, Financial Experience & Behaviors Among Women.
"It baffles me — where is that lack of confidence coming from?" asked Deborah Owens, author of A Purse of Your Own,
when she appeared on a Prudential panel discussing the study in New
York City last week. "Women really do know about finances, but that
doesn't transfer over to the investing side."
The study's statistics about female boomers' lack of investment
confidence and their aversion to financial risk are startling and,
frankly, a little depressing:
Only 24 percent feel “very well prepared” to make financial decisions;
13 percent identify themselves as "financial beginners."
Less than half (47 percent) are willing to take some risk for the opportunity of a greater financial reward.
When describing the types of investments they prefer, a striking 56
percent are only interested in "guaranteed" financial products.
And 68 percent describe themselves as "more of a saver than an investor."
What really upsets me is that I’ve been interviewing women and writing
how-to books about women and personal finance for nearly two decades,
but the song remains the same: When faced with investment decisions,
most women in their 50s and 60s have a deer-in-the-headlight reaction.
The Problem With Being Financially Conservative
Of course, these days, investing is scary for everyone, male and female.
Markets are volatile and the economy seems stuck in the mud. That's no
excuse for women to steer clear of stocks, however, or to avoid finding
ways to become more confident investors.
Keeping your cash in guaranteed financial products is fine for your rainy-day emergency fund,
but not for the retirement dollars that need to grow over time.
(Returns from stocks generally outpace the interest you can earn on CDs
and Treasury bonds over the long term.)
Being too conservative with your money has lasting repercussions. It can
mean you won't have enough to live on in retirement, especially when
you consider that most women will be solely responsible for their own
finances at some point in their lives, due to either divorce or the
death of a spouse.
When I ask the money pros what gives, they say it comes down to financial illiteracy.
Once women understand how the stock and bond markets work and learn the
difference between investing for growth, income or a combination of the
two, they invest just fine. Here are five ways to build your confidence:
1. Take small steps. “I think the most important thing women can do to gain confidence is to realize you don't have to know everything to get started,” says MP Dunleavey, editor-in-chief at the DailyWorth
website. “There's an immense value in just beginning the investing
process with, say, an S&P index fund” — investing in a broad variety
of U.S. stocks — “or a target-date fund." (For details, check out my Next Avenue post on target-date funds.)
Dunleavey recommends finding a buddy who also wants to become a more
confident investor and discover ways to educate yourselves together
gradually. "Remember that few investing decisions are irrevocable,” she
says.
This advice is spot-on. One good way to start investing regularly is by
putting $50 a month in an automatic investment plan, transferring the
cash from your bank account to a mutual fund. Some no-load mutual funds
will waive or lower their minimum initial investment requirement if you
sign up for their automatic plans. I like investing this way with index
funds (which let you diversify among stocks or bonds) from low-cost
mutual fund firms like Vanguard, Fidelity and T.Rowe Price.
2. Ramp up your education. You can learn the basics by
taking a personal finance course at a community college or by attending
investment seminars sponsored by a nonpartisan group like the American Association of Individual Investors.
If you have a 401(k) at work, make at least one new investment decision
with it this year. For example, if your entire 401(k) account is in a
supersafe choice, like a stable value fund, move a little bit of the
money into stocks. Or if your 401(k) stocks are all based in the U.S.,
put a small portion into international stocks.
Some companies bring in outside financial advisers to offer investment talks over lunch. Check with your employer — and sign up.
I also recommend two money sites that are oriented toward women: Dunleavey's DailyWorth and LearnVest. Both let you sign up for regular emails that provide personal finance tips.
Another site I particularly like for women is called WISER,
which is operated by the nonprofit Women’s Institute for a Secure
Retirement (WISER). This site has an excellent, straightforward tutorial
on the basics called Investment 101,
as well as many articles for women looking for more sophisticated
investing advice. The group also offers workshops across the country.
4. Join an investment club. The
Prudential survey found that women like to collaborate and prefer to
take their time understanding investments before purchasing them. So
consider learning the ropes and having some fun simultaneously by
joining an investment club, maybe with a group of co-workers or friends.
Investment clubs typically meet monthly at a member's home, the office
or the library, and require monthly investment contributions of $25 to
$50. The National Association of Investors Corp.
(NAIC) can help you start a club. Once you become a member of this
group ($79 a year) and sign up for its Better Investing program, you'll
have access to the NAIC's online classes and webinars, research reports
on particular stocks and investment tools.
5. Find a trustworthy adviser to work with. I prefer
fee-only financial planners who don't make money from commissions on
products that they sell. As a rule, I think you should look for one with
the Certified Financial Planner designation, awarded by the nonprofit
Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards.
One of my nearly life long best friends has lived miles away from me for well over 20 years, maybe even closer to 30. Needless to say we don't talk as we used to but in our hearts we're still besties. As I write, I'm making a mental note that it's time I give her and actually two other really close friends. Sometimes it's surprisingly refreshing to catch up with a girlfriend. Also, receiving an unexpected call from you might be just what she needs to uplift her when she is going through a difficult time. Now, we can have face time with those who are across the country or across the globe thanks to technology.
There have been times when I my friend and I have connected and learned that each was just about to call the other. Laughing, talking and sharing with your ace-boon-coon-fruit-of-the-loom is a marvelously joyous activity.
Once in a while, we superwomen need to simply let the world save itself so that we can recharge and replenish. Not an easy task since everyone in our immediate sphere seems to think we do actually have super powers. We sometimes dangerously believe the myth as well. I'm going to make this post short and sweet because it doesn't need a lot of explanation.
Take a day every now and then to indulge yourself in something that makes you just plain feel good all over. Schedule the day off work or if you can get away with it, call in to say you won't be in. Yes, you could do this on the weekend, but it kind of lets the air out of the balloon when everybody else is crowding the space you're trying to lose yourself in.
This would be me on my mental health day, but my audio book is missing from the picture.
Write down a list of things you'd like to do that are different from what you would do on a normal day off. This list absolutely, positively cannot include doing something for anyone who isn't living inside your skin. Then, when the time comes, do it!
While often over-generalized and overstated by popular psychology and
self-help texts, understanding your strengths and weaknesses in certain
areas can help you develop better ways to learn and study. For example,
students who have a difficult time following verbal instructions (often
cited as a right-brain characteristic) can benefit from writing down
directions and developing better organizational skills.
If
the theory is true, I would be considered a "right-brainer." My
interests and behavior are more "artsy," intuitive, creative and
emotional. Hence, my love for writing, mentoring, art and music. You
may be a "lefty" who is more dominant in critical thinking, bean
counting and organization.
Regardless of which side
brain you tend to operate from more often, it's good but sometimes
challenging to find a balance and that can cause you to be a royal pain
in the derriere - and they can reciprocate. Flip your brain's script
ever so often. Here's an example, I'm almost handicapped when it comes
to math, but as I mentioned I am passionate about writing and other
arts. I recently began dabbling aound with an online brain training game to exercise my left brain "muscles" more. It's fun and makes me feel like I'm gaining some smarts (which, in case you haven't already guessed, brings me joy). Eventually, I might even take on a real thinker's game like chess or Manscala.
Try this!
What Is Left Brain - Right Brain Theory?
According to the theory of left-brain or right-brain dominance, each
side of the brain controls different types of thinking. Additionally,
people are said to prefer one type of thinking over the other. For
example, a person who is "left-brained" is often said to be more
logical, analytical and objective, while a person who is "right-brained"
is said to be more intuitive, thoughtful and subjective.
In psychology, the theory is based on what is known as the
lateralization of brain function. So does one side of the brain really
control specific functions? Are people either left-brained or
right-brained? Like many popular psychology myths, this one has a basis
in fact that has been dramatically distorted and exaggerated.
The right brain-left brain theory grew out of the work of Roger W.
Sperry, who was awarded the Nobel Prize in 1981. While studying the
effects of epilepsy, Sperry discovered that cutting the corpus collosum
(the structure that connects the two hemispheres of the brain) could
reduce or eliminate seizures.
However, these patients also experienced other symptoms after the
communication pathway between the two sides of the brain was cut. For
example, many split-brain patients found themselves unable to name
objects that were processed by the right side of the brain, but were
able to name objects that were processed by the left-side of the brain.
Based on this information, Sperry suggested that language was controlled
by the left-side of the brain.
Later research has shown that the brain is not nearly as dichotomous as once thought. For example, recent research has shown that abilities in subjects such as math are actually strongest when both halves of the brain work together.
The Right Brain
According to the left-brain, right-brain dominance theory, the right
side of the brain is best at expressive and creative tasks. Some of the
abilities that are popularly associated with the right side of the brain
include:
Recognizing faces
Expressing emotions
Music
Reading emotions
Color
Images
Intuition
Creativity
The Left Brain
The left-side of the brain is considered to be adept at tasks that
involve logic, language and analytical thinking. The left-brain is often
described as being better at:
Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I
know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and
in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to
abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
I'll be honest I've been very blessed all of my life. Of course I've had dark seasons as all of us will; but in comparison to what some have experienced, I have nothing to complain about. Having said that I don't take it lightly that many people suffer adversities and challenges that would make my worst day seem like a trip to Disney World. I find it interesting though, that many of the most accomplished, satisfied-with-life people in the world are those who have not only made a decision to survive their circumstances, but to thrive. Whatever is going on in your life right now, make a decision that from this moment on, you will look to God for guidance, healing, comfort and to be the source of all that you feel is wrong with your life.
View this video in it's entirety. After viewing, if you something doesn't spark an unstoppable initiative to thrive in you, have someone check your pulse because clearly you're not breathing!
On Day 15, I talked about the joy that is wrought from forgiveness. Now I want to bring to the forefront the power and joy that comes from the flip side of forgiveness which is to offer a sincere apology.
Unless you're one of those rumored human beings who has no flaws, there is somebody, somewhere who has a legitimate "ought" with you - and you have yet to make it right. Perhaps you borrowed something and haven't returned it. Maybe you never resolved a dispute with a co-worker. The possibilities are endless but the premise is that you know you should have apologized before now. You're carnally thinking, "It would do more harm than good to bring it up now. He [or she] has probably forgotten about it." That is correct in some cases; however I believe with all my heart that each of us knows exactly when it's the appropriate time, and to whom we should apologize.
For most of us, sincere apologies don't come easily and it will take some effort. Some cases more than others but whatever you do, be determined to get that monkey off your back. For goodness sake don't let stubborn pride prevent you from extending an apology you know you owe. It will eat away on your conscience until you make it right. And the offense just might come back to bite you and the fanny. Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18
Let me share my own true story; if you've raised teenagers you'll probably be able to appreciate this. I raised to girls who are 8 years apart. Raising the oldest was pretty much a breeze; then came along her little sister the hell-raiser. I often semi-jokingly say that if the younger had been my firstborn, she would have been an only child. When little sister was a teenager...Yowzer! The little girl was a PISTOL! I'd done all of the praying, fasting, punishing, pleading, et cet-ah-rah, et cet-ah-rah... I remember being a my wit's end with her. My husband the therapist (by profession) kept assuring me that she would be fine and was going through a phase. I never found that reassuring. My response to him, as always when I can't come up with a quick-witted comeback was, "you just don't understand because you don't have a uterus."
One day, when I was absolutely at the end of my emotional rope, I had an ah hah moment. I'd go to my own mother to apologize to her for my teenage reign of terror. Actually since my grandmother had pretty much been surrogate mom to me the apology should have gone to her, but Nana had already gone on to be with the Lord. However my mom was only physically absent because she worked nights so she knew about most offenses and dealt with me accordingly and on my grandmother's behalf. Well when my young'un had me on the verge of murder/suicide I believe it was God Himself who urged me to apologize to my mom. I'm not going to pretend that when I did things instantly improved, but I definitely FELT better, as if some of my burdens had been lifted. Little by little, and yes as Babygirl began to mature, things continued to improve. But most of all, I had changed. My perspective and outlook on the situation with my daughter inched closer and closer until I began to feel joyful about being the mother of a teen. Yup, even me - even her.
One of the many things I admire about my husband is his ability to admit when he is wrong, followed by an apology. I fall in love with him all over again whenever he does that. I think that above any two people, spouses certainly should be the habit of offering sincere apologies when they have offended one another. But sometimes it seems it's easier to apologize to a stranger than your own spouse. I believe that is a trick the enemy uses to keep us divided, which can be the proverbial "little fox" that destroys the vine - which in this case would be our marriages. By nature most of us are filled with pride but the Bible clearly admonishes us to live humbly and not be driven by pride.
There is an added bonus for married couples
My Final Note
We should apologize to God for our sins/trespasses/offenses. That is also referred to as repentance (godly sorry). Certainly if we owe anyone a multitude of apologies, it's our heavenly Father. And the best thing of all is that He is quick to forgive us.
Read what blogger Duong Sheahan has to say about the effects of a genuine apology.
The Power of Apology
by Duong Sheahan on November 2, 2010
As a wife, parent, friend, and sibling I’ve learned to say I’m sorry a few times in my life…ok A LOT.
I’ll admit that I’ve been a very stubborn individual and it’s taken
me years to deal with it. I learned a long time ago that resentment and
unforgiveness doesn’t hurt anyone else other than self.
My journey to be whole in spirit, soul, and body required me to let
go of stubbornness and deal with unresolved conflicts right away. It’s
not always easy but it sets us free.
I love this quote:
“A few things are more
powerful than common sense, wisdom & the strength to admit when
you’ve made a mistake and to set things right”. Dr. Spencer Johnson, MD
Whether we have mistreated others or have been wronged by others, it
is human nature to cry out for compensation or some sort of repayment.
All human relationships will at some point require an apology regardless
of the nature of the relationship in which we find ourselves. That
could be a marriage, a working relationship, siblings, a dating
relationship, or with friendships. And we’re face to choose at some
point to apologize if we’ve wronged others, or accept forgiveness if
we’ve been wronged.
A genuine apology makes resolution possible. Without an apology, we
will harbor anger and resentment. And often times, unresolved conflict
lingers on for years. When we apologize, we are accepting responsibility
for our actions and seeking to make amends with those who have offended
us.
A genuine apology will open the door to forgiveness and reconciliation. This is what the power of an apology
will do – it breaks down those walls that have been holding us back
from having peaceful and fulfilling relationships with one another.
When we refuse to apologize, we build a barrier in the relationship
with those who have offended us and that barrier will remain up and
most likely the relationship will deteriorate.
It will become cold, superficial, and distant. If you’ve experienced
that, you know exactly what I mean. Great relationships are a result of a
willingness to apologize, to forgive, and to make peace.
After some extensive research on the subject of apology, Dr. Gary Chapman shares in his newest book, The Five Languages of Apology: How to Experience Healing in All Your Relationships,
“When it comes to
apologizing, people indeed speak a different language…sincere apologies
may not always be received as sincere, and why forgiveness and
reconciliation are not always forthcoming.”
As a parent, I’ve had to be humble and apologize when I’m wrong;
you’d think it’s easy to do and if you’re a parent, you will understand.
There are times when we don’t feel that we need to apologize for a
situation. The spirit of stubbornness wants to rule our decisions;
however, being quick to apologize and resolve conflicts with our
children will open their hearts and enrich our relationship.
The power of apology will restore broken relationships and
produce great, meaningful life-long friendships, marriages, and
parent-child relationships. It will also impact day to day interactions
with people outside of our circle.
Genuine apologies will soften even the toughest and those with the most hardened hearts.
Is there someone you need to apologize to today? Go for it!
Duong Sheahan, Inspirational & Healthy Living
Blogger...Empowering People to Live Healthier and Happier. Duong also
co-hosts ChicagonistaLIVE.com; a Chicago-centric webshow.
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Kerry Hannon has spent more than 25 years covering personal
finance for Forbes, Money, U.S. News & World Report, and USA Today.
Her website is 
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