Yesterday, I Got a Glimpse of My Future!

Four  and a half  Generations 2004

Yesterday (Memorial Day) I posted a brief rendering expressing my gratitude for my offspring, who are now adults with their own families.  This morning as I reflect on the day, I realize that yesterday was a preview of what life may very well be like for my husband and I in the not-so-distant future.  

What I thought was a happenstance was actually a prelude into  a succession that has been a part of my family for at least three prior generations.  Since childhood, I have been in the presence of elderly people who were part of my extended family. I remember my grandparents taking me with them regularly to visit my Grandma's sister-in-law's mother who everybody called Ma.  My grandmother not only paid her social visits but she went there with purpose - to cut the older woman's toenails.  As a child I couldn't imagine anything any more disgusting, yet Grandma did it for years and then one day "Ma" was gone.  My grandmother once told me that she loved old people and at the time I wondered why.  It's funny but the older I get, the more I find myself drawn to those who are at least a generation above my own.  I want to hold onto them and glean as much of their wisdom and experience as I can...while I can.

As the older generations are fading away, I realize that my generation is getting closer to taking their place as the family matriarchs and patriarchs - the church mothers and church Elders.  I miss their stories about what happened "back in the day" and how things were done.  There are so many things I wish I had asked my grandmother when she was alive.  As close as I was to my grandmother, I still I feel as though I missed many opportunities by not asking questions that I didn't know I'd have now that she's gone.

But I am grateful for the time I had with her.  The Lord allowed me to have both sets of my grandparents in my life until I was 38 years old.  Then, one by one they were called from labor to reward ending with the one nearest and dearest to my heart - Nana made her transition in 2005. My daughters have had the rare benefit of not just hearing tales and recollections about their great-grandparents, but interacting with, being cared for and loved by them.  

"Spa Day" with my granddivas

Nana, the grandmother who helped raise me lived to be well into her 90s and in good health until about the last six months of her life.  I had been helping her care for my Grandpa George for nearly 10 years - until he passed away.  Together she and I not only cared for him, but also my mother who had suffered a stroke.  Before then, Mom had been the one who provided the elder care. My daughters have grown up watching and learning how to be nurturing caregivers.

In a few months, if the Lord says the same I will be 55 years old and  I've been a full time caregiver since January of 1996 when Mom suffered the stroke.  Although I am in good health, without question I feel some changes in my body.  As much as I try to fend off the signs of aging some things are inevitable and I am definitely slowing down.  Don't get me wrong, I am far from checking into Shady Pines, but let's face it, it is what it is.  Every now and then when my daughters, and now granddaughters thank me for something I say to them:  "You're welcome, remember me when I'm old."  Of course they always tell me "I got you."  But yesterday I got a glimpse of the things to come:

Two nights ago I had a terrible allergy attack and could not sleep.  I had been taking a non-drowsy anti-histimine which simply was no match for whatever it was that set me off this time.  I finally went back to bed just before dawn and although it was the holiday and I anticipated that I'd have a ton of cooking and entertaining my grandchildren later in the day, I took a Benedryl tablet and slept for a short while.  In total, I'd received about 3 1/2 hours of sleep.

When I called my daughter to discuss the final menu I was still under the influence of the Benedryl and feeling the effects of sleep deprivation.  I failed miserably at stringing together words that resulted in a resonably intelligent conversation. Apparently my daughter sensed that I was not capable of pulling off the holiday meal.  I had said something so loopy that we both had to laugh and she suggested that I just plan to rest for the day.  She and her husband would handle everything.  I am NOT used to that but gladly conceded.

My wonderful daughters

When they arrived they brought all of the meats that needed to be grilled - already seasoned and marinated.  They also brought plenty of side dishes and even a watermelon for our dessert.  I thought the least I could do was start the fire in the grill and have the coals ready for my son-in-law; but for some reason I couldn't even do that. I had left my barb-b-cue lighter out and it drowned during one of the many rain storms we've had recently - so it had to be thrown away. Then I scrounged up a partial book of  matches which were no more useful as the lighter. Finally I went inside to scout out another book of matches or a renegade lighter.  When I returned with another questionable book of matches and a pile of junk mail to use as kindling, I saw that William had already gotten the fire started and was confidently making preparations to grill his masterpieces.  My daughter again "suggested" that I just not do anything.  

So I gave my mother a snack and retreated to the living room with a novel and a bottle of water. My husband, our children and grandchildren communed in the yard and I went on a literary vacation.  Occasionally the little ones bounded in to tell me about bugs and bubbles then quickly disappeared again.

Several chapters into my novel, my youngest was plating Mom's dinner.  She would take it up to her, and her 7-year-old would carry Mom's beverage up.  Having gotten us "seniors" settled, the others were  packing up and preparing to head home.  There wasn't anything left for me to do except enjoy the delicious feast my daughter and her wonderful husband had prepared for the family.

My daughter and son-in-love,  Mr. and Mrs. Stiff

It occured to me this morning that this was the beginning for me.  This is where the passing of the mantle begins.  Sans any sudden and unexpected illness or injury, the transition should be subtle and smooth. But God forbid that it's not, I know that they will be prepared.  My children will someday be taking care of me.  They will know HOW to do it and they will know WHAT to do.  Because they have been trained from birth so it comes naturally.  Caregiving is what we do, we embrace it and I am grateful that God has given us this gift.

I am grateful for my grandparents and my mother...such marvelous role models. And I am grateful for my daughters and granddaughters who are bringing up the rear.  

This was the Lord's doing and it is marvelous in our eyes.