Unless you're one of those rumored human beings who has no flaws, there is somebody, somewhere who has a legitimate "ought" with you - and you have yet to make it right. Perhaps you borrowed something and haven't returned it. Maybe you never resolved a dispute with a co-worker. The possibilities are endless but the premise is that you know you should have apologized before now. You're carnally thinking, "It would do more harm than good to bring it up now. He [or she] has probably forgotten about it." That is correct in some cases; however I believe with all my heart that each of us knows exactly when it's the appropriate time, and to whom we should apologize.
For most of us, sincere apologies don't come easily and it will take some effort. Some cases more than others but whatever you do, be determined to get that monkey off your back. For goodness sake don't let stubborn pride prevent you from extending an apology you know you owe. It will eat away on your conscience until you make it right. And the offense just might come back to bite you and the fanny. Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18
Let me share my own true story; if you've raised teenagers you'll probably be able to appreciate this. I raised to girls who are 8 years apart. Raising the oldest was pretty much a breeze; then came along her little sister the hell-raiser. I often semi-jokingly say that if the younger had been my firstborn, she would have been an only child. When little sister was a teenager...Yowzer! The little girl was a PISTOL! I'd done all of the praying, fasting, punishing, pleading, et cet-ah-rah, et cet-ah-rah... I remember being a my wit's end with her. My husband the therapist (by profession) kept assuring me that she would be fine and was going through a phase. I never found that reassuring. My response to him, as always when I can't come up with a quick-witted comeback was, "you just don't understand because you don't have a uterus."
One day, when I was absolutely at the end of my emotional rope, I had an ah hah moment. I'd go to my own mother to apologize to her for my teenage reign of terror. Actually since my grandmother had pretty much been surrogate mom to me the apology should have gone to her, but Nana had already gone on to be with the Lord. However my mom was only physically absent because she worked nights so she knew about most offenses and dealt with me accordingly and on my grandmother's behalf. Well when my young'un had me on the verge of murder/suicide I believe it was God Himself who urged me to apologize to my mom. I'm not going to pretend that when I did things instantly improved, but I definitely FELT better, as if some of my burdens had been lifted. Little by little, and yes as Babygirl began to mature, things continued to improve. But most of all, I had changed. My perspective and outlook on the situation with my daughter inched closer and closer until I began to feel joyful about being the mother of a teen. Yup, even me - even her.
One of the many things I admire about my husband is his ability to admit when he is wrong, followed by an apology. I fall in love with him all over again whenever he does that. I think that above any two people, spouses certainly should be the habit of offering sincere apologies when they have offended one another. But sometimes it seems it's easier to apologize to a stranger than your own spouse. I believe that is a trick the enemy uses to keep us divided, which can be the proverbial "little fox" that destroys the vine - which in this case would be our marriages. By nature most of us are filled with pride but the Bible clearly admonishes us to live humbly and not be driven by pride.
 |
| There is an added bonus for married couples |
My Final Note
We should apologize to God for our sins/trespasses/offenses. That is also referred to as repentance (godly sorry). Certainly if we owe anyone a multitude of apologies, it's our heavenly Father. And the best thing of all is that He is quick to forgive us.
Read what blogger Duong Sheahan has to say about the effects of a genuine apology.
The Power of Apology
As a wife, parent, friend, and sibling I’ve learned to say I’m sorry a few times in my life…ok A LOT.
I’ll admit that I’ve been a very stubborn individual and it’s taken me years to deal with it. I learned a long time ago that resentment and unforgiveness doesn’t hurt anyone else other than self.
My journey to be whole in spirit, soul, and body required me to let go of stubbornness and deal with unresolved conflicts right away. It’s not always easy but it sets us free.
I love this quote:
“A few things are more powerful than common sense, wisdom & the strength to admit when you’ve made a mistake and to set things right”. Dr. Spencer Johnson, MDWhether we have mistreated others or have been wronged by others, it is human nature to cry out for compensation or some sort of repayment. All human relationships will at some point require an apology regardless of the nature of the relationship in which we find ourselves. That could be a marriage, a working relationship, siblings, a dating relationship, or with friendships. And we’re face to choose at some point to apologize if we’ve wronged others, or accept forgiveness if we’ve been wronged.
A genuine apology makes resolution possible. Without an apology, we will harbor anger and resentment. And often times, unresolved conflict lingers on for years. When we apologize, we are accepting responsibility for our actions and seeking to make amends with those who have offended us.
A genuine apology will open the door to forgiveness and reconciliation. This is what the power of an apology will do – it breaks down those walls that have been holding us back from having peaceful and fulfilling relationships with one another.
When we refuse to apologize, we build a barrier in the relationship with those who have offended us and that barrier will remain up and most likely the relationship will deteriorate.
It will become cold, superficial, and distant. If you’ve experienced that, you know exactly what I mean. Great relationships are a result of a willingness to apologize, to forgive, and to make peace.
After some extensive research on the subject of apology, Dr. Gary Chapman shares in his newest book, The Five Languages of Apology: How to Experience Healing in All Your Relationships
,“When it comes to apologizing, people indeed speak a different language…sincere apologies may not always be received as sincere, and why forgiveness and reconciliation are not always forthcoming.”As a parent, I’ve had to be humble and apologize when I’m wrong; you’d think it’s easy to do and if you’re a parent, you will understand. There are times when we don’t feel that we need to apologize for a situation. The spirit of stubbornness wants to rule our decisions; however, being quick to apologize and resolve conflicts with our children will open their hearts and enrich our relationship.
The power of apology will restore broken relationships and produce great, meaningful life-long friendships, marriages, and parent-child relationships. It will also impact day to day interactions with people outside of our circle.
Genuine apologies will soften even the toughest and those with the most hardened hearts.
Is there someone you need to apologize to today? Go for it!
 |
Duong Sheahan, Inspirational & Healthy Living
Blogger...Empowering People to Live Healthier and Happier. Duong also
co-hosts ChicagonistaLIVE.com;
|
No comments:
Post a Comment